I will survive!

The Lord has done a work in my heart over the past several days. He and my husband remind me a lot of each other at times. They let me have my little hissy fit, pout a couple of days, and then when I realize that its not doing me any good, they are still there.... waiting for me and not holding it against me.

Part of the worship team at church is going on tour at the end of July for 17 days, and they asked Blake to go with them as their sound guy. Honestly, who can blame them.... he's pretty great to have around... but I was not pleased. I have whined, begged, and gave dissertations that would have won over any jury as to why I do not think he should be away from us for that long. Anyway after a few days of all my talking and trying and pleading, the answer was the same: "I've got to go - its my job." Well, I'm not exactly sure what my final response was something along the lines of "If there is an accident while you're on this trip and you die then I will never speak to you again and for the record I don't want anyone from the tech. or worship department coming to the funeral. (From time to time I have a tendency to be a tad dramatic, although it really never does me any good thanks to having a very laid back man as my husband.) Not too long after this final conversation I thought about my best friend from Junior High and High School who has seen her husband off to special training military schools where he comes back with cracked ribs and broken thumbs, and has sent him away to Iraq where he comes back with emotional wounds only the Lord can heal, and I know in my head that I am being a baby. Because Blake and I started "going together" at 14 and 15 and got married four years later, I never had a time in my life where I had only God. I have never had to depend on him and him alone. I feel like the Lord has began to stir in me almost a feeling of anticipation for Blake's upcoming trip. I will have to depend on the Lord to give me strength in the evenings when I'm used to Blake giving me a hour or two break from the kids. I will have to depend on the Lord to be my comfort when the house creaks and I think I hear things downstairs. I will have to depend on the Lord to hold me in his arms when any other time it would be Blake. I will not just endure those 17 days, I will grow stronger because of them, I will learn to depend more on the Lord and enjoy his companionship.