Tuesday, May 13, 2008
right brain/left brain
The kids and I went to the library this morning. I told them to each pick two books out. I went to the other side to pick out a couple for me, and after a couple of minutes met back up with them. Camden's two books were: 1. Electricity and 2 Chemistry. Hope's were: 1. Art and 2. Ballet. I thought this was very interesting! On the way home Camden was looking through his electricity book and suddenly he hollered out, "OH MY this book tells me how to make electricity. YEAH BABY!!" A couple hours later, I was reading Hope her ballet book. Camden was sitting with us and couple of times he commented, "This book is so gross", yet he never got up. He listened to the whole thing. haha
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Happy Mother's Day - Mom
I have had one of those days today... you know those days when everything makes you get all teary eyed. I think its just thinking about being a mom and thinking about you - MY mom. Stopping the day to day chaos and remembering how blessed I am. I can't imagine what my life would be like without you. Sometimes I can't even wait for you to get off work, I have to call and leave a message on your cell phone! You are still my number one sounding board. I greatly dislike talking on the phone for the most part - yet I think I could talk to you an hour every day. Its frustrating to me how I forget who I am sometimes. I get caught up in life and shallow existence and I talk to you and suddenly I remember who I am. I am motivated to live an extraordinary life and to stop just existing. You fought for me when I was too young to fight for myself, you really listened to my hopes and dreams and encouraged me to go after the passions God placed in my hear, and you have never, never stopped believing that God will allow me to be apart of something incredible one day.
Someone told me one time that they liked how I could say so much without saying anything at all. I was beyond thrilled to hear that - I got that from you. I know sometimes you wonder if you should have said more, but I want you to know you "say" more than you think you say. Kyle, Miranda, and I have always known where you stood and that no matter what you were on our side. I also know that you have ministered to countless people with your quiet spirit. Don't ever think that your impact is small - its not its bigger that you can imagine. Your reward will be great and of this I am certain.
It funny how it becomes difficult to be a daughter as you get older. As I realize the huge emotions that go into being a mommy and consider what the future holds as my kids get older my heart hurts for you. You have gone through so much and never given up. You love like God. I want good things for you. I want to see your dreams fulfilled. I pray for you: for peace, for joy, for your feet to be steadfast so that no matter how long it takes for life to get easy you'll be free of worry and full of purpose, full of life, and full of God. I love you. Happy Mother's Day, Mom.
Someone told me one time that they liked how I could say so much without saying anything at all. I was beyond thrilled to hear that - I got that from you. I know sometimes you wonder if you should have said more, but I want you to know you "say" more than you think you say. Kyle, Miranda, and I have always known where you stood and that no matter what you were on our side. I also know that you have ministered to countless people with your quiet spirit. Don't ever think that your impact is small - its not its bigger that you can imagine. Your reward will be great and of this I am certain.
It funny how it becomes difficult to be a daughter as you get older. As I realize the huge emotions that go into being a mommy and consider what the future holds as my kids get older my heart hurts for you. You have gone through so much and never given up. You love like God. I want good things for you. I want to see your dreams fulfilled. I pray for you: for peace, for joy, for your feet to be steadfast so that no matter how long it takes for life to get easy you'll be free of worry and full of purpose, full of life, and full of God. I love you. Happy Mother's Day, Mom.
Happy Mother's Day - Grandma
If there was a best Grandmother award, my grandma would win it. I have SO many wonderful memories with her that I could write a book. One of things I always loved was for her to tell me stories. When I would spend a week with her in the summers she would tell me stories every night. She made categories for her stories: stories from when she was a girl, stories of when Mom and her brother were kids, stories about when she taught special ed., stories that took place in one of the other countries she lived in. I could pick which category I wanted and she would think of a story from that time. I loved it and have begun telling my kids some of those stories. I think my favorite story is the one she tells about holding me for the first time after I was born. She says that she knew from the very first moment that she held me that we would be very close. I love that story because it let me know that she loved me just as much as I loved her. Nick at Night, Shopping, eating at the mall on the third floor, having ice cream bars in bed, talking long after the lights went out - all favorite moments of mine that I consider precious gifts, treasures that I think about often and will always remember. I love you Grandma - Happy Mother's Day!
Happy Mother's Day - Flo
Today it was over 90 degrees so we took our first trip to the pool. Since Blake would be there, I decided it would be a great time to just lay out and read. I had already read my book from the library so I ran upstairs and grabbed a parenting book off the shelf that I was pretty sure I hadn't read yet. When I opened it at the pool, some papers fell out. I opened it up and it was an outline my mother-in-law had written for a parenting class she would be teaching. It was dated April 1998. Blake was 16. I read through it, reading about her love for her sons, her desire to be the best mom she could be, and her beliefs and strategies on raising Godly kids. How neat to find that on Mother's Day. One thing that she put on the outline was that she hoped that when her kids would grown that they would remember the things she had done right and not the things she did wrong. Well, speaking for myself - being married to one of her sons - I say she did a pretty darn good job!!
As I was thinking about Flo today, I was thinking about how different she is from me. I have heard friends say that they just feel defeated compared to their mother-in-law. They say they could just never compete with near perfection. But you know I don't feel that way. I know that she has characteristics that I will never have and thats ok with me. I am just so grateful that she is part of my life and part of my kids life. Camden and Hope's mommy will probably never drive them around on the four wheeler or dig for worms in the yard, but their Grammy will. And I know when they get too big for worms, chuck E cheese, and practicing baseball in the driveway that Grammy will still be just as involved. I know that she prays for our kids and desires to do her part in whatever way possible to teach them about Jesus AND to teach them to love life. Life is always an adventure when Grammy is around. And you know its not just the kids that think that..... I look forward to my time with "Grammy" too. Happy Mother's Day Flo!!!!!
As I was thinking about Flo today, I was thinking about how different she is from me. I have heard friends say that they just feel defeated compared to their mother-in-law. They say they could just never compete with near perfection. But you know I don't feel that way. I know that she has characteristics that I will never have and thats ok with me. I am just so grateful that she is part of my life and part of my kids life. Camden and Hope's mommy will probably never drive them around on the four wheeler or dig for worms in the yard, but their Grammy will. And I know when they get too big for worms, chuck E cheese, and practicing baseball in the driveway that Grammy will still be just as involved. I know that she prays for our kids and desires to do her part in whatever way possible to teach them about Jesus AND to teach them to love life. Life is always an adventure when Grammy is around. And you know its not just the kids that think that..... I look forward to my time with "Grammy" too. Happy Mother's Day Flo!!!!!
Happy Mother's Day - Me!
Blake usually works second weekends, but because of him having to work some special services during this past week, he was able to be off this weekend. So he proclaimed this Mother's Day Weekend - so I get two days! We had a fun day. We had donuts at the donut shop, got me a bike (so scary - I haven't ridden in 13 years!!!) went to the park, went to the pool, went to church, and then went out to eat at a place that I went to once with some friends a couple of months ago. They have good chicken enchiladas and coke with crushed ice ( you know the important things!!) . I just got back from a walk (with just me, the ipod playing Hillsong United Worship, and God) and now I am blogging while Blake puts the kids to bed. Tomorrow Blake is making waffles for breakfast and hamburgers and homemade ice cream for dinner. I am SOOOO spoiled!
But I also wanted to blog about what God did for me today on Mother's Day weekend. Tonight at church after the first song a special guest worship leader took over. RITA SPRINGER!!! Now let me tell you why this was my special Mother's Day gift from God. My first born, my gorgeous blue eyed boy, Camden was conceived and born while Blake and I were attending Christ for the Nations. From the start (and I mean five days after I found out I was pregnant!) this little boy has been a challenge. Nothing has worked on my pride, lack of patience, selfishness, anger management, and critical nature like my ball of curious energy and very talkative male child! When I was about 20 something weeks pregnant with him, Rita Springer came to the school to lead worship for chapel. Never had I felt such anointing flowing from a worship leader. The presence of God was thick - you know like when you don't know if you should sing with all your heart and throw your hands in the air or fall on your face in complete and reverent silence. As I listened to her and just allowed myself to feel God, I heard him speak to my heart and tell me to place my hands on myself and pray for that same anointing that was on Rita Springer. I said to the Lord, "Did I hear that right - I don't feel led nor am I gifted at leading worship?" I felt God say, "This is not for you. Its for your son." So I placed my hands on my belly and prayed with all of my heart that my son would receive an anointing from God - an anointing comparable to Rita Springer's. For the rest of the pregnancy I listened to my Rita Springer CD over and over and over. I would sit in the rocking chair in his nursery with my hands on my belly listening to Rita Springer and praying over my son. Having a son like Camden is beyond anything I could imagine. It is such a roller coaster. He keeps me on my toes every minute. Sometimes I think he and I were put in the same family to learn how to be warriors in battle. I've said before he has the parts of Blake that drive me crazy and the parts of myself that drive me crazy. However, just this past week, the Lord totally got in my face about my relationship with Camden. He just held a mirror up to my face - and said - "What are you doing???" You've become a grouch teacher/disciplinarian - where did Camden's mommy go? I was so upset with what I saw and pleaded with God to forgive me and help me to change. And then today..... when Rita Springer got up on that stage.... I remembered Camden is not just the biggest challenge in my life. He is anointed by God and was placed in my womb and in my life because God wanted to use me to help fulfill His incredible plan for His child. Camden belongs to the Lord. I am just his Mommy here on earth whose job is to love him and train him and pray for him, and to teach him about the love of the Lord. I suddenly saw myself and my little boy in the big picture, and I was brought to tears. Tears of gratitude that God chose me to raise this little boy and to love him. As I walked around our neighborhood tonight, I just meditated on how God is such a loving Father. He disciplined me and then he gave me a gift - a gift of love that said, "You ARE good enough - I chose you and its not too late to start over, I forgive you and I WILL pour grace out on you because I love you.
But I also wanted to blog about what God did for me today on Mother's Day weekend. Tonight at church after the first song a special guest worship leader took over. RITA SPRINGER!!! Now let me tell you why this was my special Mother's Day gift from God. My first born, my gorgeous blue eyed boy, Camden was conceived and born while Blake and I were attending Christ for the Nations. From the start (and I mean five days after I found out I was pregnant!) this little boy has been a challenge. Nothing has worked on my pride, lack of patience, selfishness, anger management, and critical nature like my ball of curious energy and very talkative male child! When I was about 20 something weeks pregnant with him, Rita Springer came to the school to lead worship for chapel. Never had I felt such anointing flowing from a worship leader. The presence of God was thick - you know like when you don't know if you should sing with all your heart and throw your hands in the air or fall on your face in complete and reverent silence. As I listened to her and just allowed myself to feel God, I heard him speak to my heart and tell me to place my hands on myself and pray for that same anointing that was on Rita Springer. I said to the Lord, "Did I hear that right - I don't feel led nor am I gifted at leading worship?" I felt God say, "This is not for you. Its for your son." So I placed my hands on my belly and prayed with all of my heart that my son would receive an anointing from God - an anointing comparable to Rita Springer's. For the rest of the pregnancy I listened to my Rita Springer CD over and over and over. I would sit in the rocking chair in his nursery with my hands on my belly listening to Rita Springer and praying over my son. Having a son like Camden is beyond anything I could imagine. It is such a roller coaster. He keeps me on my toes every minute. Sometimes I think he and I were put in the same family to learn how to be warriors in battle. I've said before he has the parts of Blake that drive me crazy and the parts of myself that drive me crazy. However, just this past week, the Lord totally got in my face about my relationship with Camden. He just held a mirror up to my face - and said - "What are you doing???" You've become a grouch teacher/disciplinarian - where did Camden's mommy go? I was so upset with what I saw and pleaded with God to forgive me and help me to change. And then today..... when Rita Springer got up on that stage.... I remembered Camden is not just the biggest challenge in my life. He is anointed by God and was placed in my womb and in my life because God wanted to use me to help fulfill His incredible plan for His child. Camden belongs to the Lord. I am just his Mommy here on earth whose job is to love him and train him and pray for him, and to teach him about the love of the Lord. I suddenly saw myself and my little boy in the big picture, and I was brought to tears. Tears of gratitude that God chose me to raise this little boy and to love him. As I walked around our neighborhood tonight, I just meditated on how God is such a loving Father. He disciplined me and then he gave me a gift - a gift of love that said, "You ARE good enough - I chose you and its not too late to start over, I forgive you and I WILL pour grace out on you because I love you.
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