Priceless

This past Sunday, Camden had a soccer game. Every few minutes they switch out with their sub, come off the field, get a water break, and usually have a pep talk with their Dad. During the second half of the game, Blake was down at the other end of the field close to the goalie doing some coaching since the kids can't hear their coach from that end. So when Camden stepped out of the field and saw that his Daddy was way over on the other side he grabbed his thermos and came over and say in my lap. As I held my sweaty little boy and listened to him cheer on his team and gulp his water, I contemplated once again how precious this time was. What an adventure it is to be a mommy to a son. This is such an amazing time in his life. Already becoming part man but still my little boy that would rather (at least sometimes) sit on my lap than stand on the bleachers with his teammates. I sat there with my arms around him feeling his heart about to beat out of his chest and savored an unforgettable moment.

Baby Steps

This morning Pastor Robert talked about how Jesus is merciful and sympathetic towards us because He too, has been tempted and suffered on this earth. Towards the end of the sermon he told us that we live in a fallen world full of temptation, with legions of demons trying to destroy us. Then he paused and said, "You are doing better than you think you are." Immediately in my mind, I argued with him. No we're not, I thought. Actually we are all probably worse than we think we are.

This afternoon, after church, I received in a round about long-story way a corrective criticism. As usual, I felt hurt and offended. Minutes later, as I was outside helping build our deck, I realized that I had to and wanted to respond differently this time. I realized how sick I was of being offended. So I thought, you know, what she said is so true. If I would take to heart what she said, I would be a better person. I bet 20 times in the next half hour I would begin to feel upset in my stomach and I would make my spirit tell my soul, "She is right, you know, take it to heart, and let it make you a better person." The last time I was telling myself that, I was standing still holding a post straight and I clearly heard the Lord speak to my heart and say, "You are doing better than you think you are." How unbelievably merciful and loving my Savior is to me. When I am fed up with myself, He is still loving me. He sees my ridiculously slow baby steps and countless falls and reaches out His incredible arms of grace and embraces my heart that is so full of doubt and shame and whispers that He loves me. I am overwhelmed.