Kid days

This morning we were in the car and Camden was writing his spelling words. He asked me what the date was. Then he said, "When Adam was born it was the date 1 right? (as in now is 2009 - but then was year 1) I told him that 1 actaully started after Jesus rose from the grave. He said, "Actually Adam was never born, right." I said, "Right, he was created." Camden said, "Yeah, he missed his kid days.....actually his kids days was being dirt."

and people think she never talks......

Yesterday Blake was about to go to work and he was hugging me in the family room. Hope was at the kitchen table (which looks right into the Family room) eating her lunch when out of nowhere she said, "Daddy?" We looked over at her and she had tears welled up in her eyes and her lip was quivering. Blake said, "What is it, Hope?" She said, "Do you love Mommy more than me?" We looked at each other a little panicky - what do you say to that when she's looking at him with teary puppy-dog eyes? He said, "Ahhh Hope, I love all my family." That seemed to satisfy her....for the time being anyway.

This past Christmas we talked to the kids a lot about all the less fortunate people and children in the world with the hope that they wouldn't get caught up in all the wanting everything they see on all the toy commercials. Since Christmas Hope prays almost every night that "all the poor people will have more food than us, a bigger house than us, and more stuff than us." I say that first to show that the "poor" are on her mind a lot. Today after she had been playing in the backyard for awhile she ran in and told me that she was hungry. I said, "Ok, let me finish this and then I'll make dinner." She said, "But, Mommy I'm hungry like the poor people!"

grown up?

I was showing my mom the other day some pictures of people I had on my facebook. She noticed several friends of hers and my dad's on my friend list. She said, "Hmmm so there are grown ups on this thing?" I wonder how old I will have to be before she considers me a grown up??

Venture a guess?

Yesterday Hope asked us if she died before she was a grown-up (Actually her words were, "If I get killed before I'm a grown-up" but she meant if she dies) would she keep growing up to be a grown-up in Heaven. Wow! What a question from a four year old.

more quotes

Here are some more really good quotes from Phillip Yancey's Reaching the Invisible God

Quote 2 - "Creatures of flesh and blood, we lose patience with anything that does not manifest itself on our terms."

I am guilty of pulling away from God when I come to a place in my spiritual walk where I really don't understand Him, or I am frightened by what I have discovered about Him.

Quote 3 - "The modern world honors intelligence, good looks, confidence, and sophistication. God, apparently, does not. To accomplish his work God often relies on simple, uneducated people who don't know any better than to trust him, and through them wonders happen."

I LOVE THIS!!!!!! PERIOD!!!!

Quote 4 - "Doubt always coexists with faith, for in the presence of certainty who would need faith at all"

When I was pregnant with Camden I had some difficulties early on in my pregnancy. For the first 14 weeks I had a 50/50 chance of losing my baby. I was attending CFNI at the time and taking a class and attending a life group where the teacher and the life group leaders believed that if you have enough faith you will be healed - no question. I wrestled with what exactly my beliefs were on faith. I knew that if they were correct and I lost my baby the fault would be fine - because I for sure had a load of doubt and fear. I learned alot from those 14 weeks. What I felt like was the hardest weeks of my life, I am now so grateful for. For a number of reasons, one being that I learned that faith is a journey. A journey of hope and journey of believing God's promises, a journey of knowing that his thoughts and his ways surpass any understanding that I will ever have on this earth, and a journey of knowing that God is everything to me. Even if God had taken Camden to Heaven before we met Him, what would there have been for us except still.......God.

Quote 5 - "Without somehow destroying me in the process, how could God reveal himself in a way that would leave no room for doubt? If there were no room for doubt, there would be no room for me."

No comment here - I just thought it was a quote I wanted to mull over....

Book Review 2

I just started another book today by Phillip Yancey. Phillip Yancey wrote one of my most favorite books Whats so Amazing about Grace. This one is called Reaching for the Invisible God. I have only read a couple of chapters, but I want to comment on a couple of quotes that I don't want to forget.

Quote 1 - "If you find God with great ease, perhaps its not God that you have found."

If you read my blog below you will know that this speaks to my quest I am on this year. A quest to know the magnificent part of God. Right now our Pastor is preaching a sermon series on The Holy Spirit - Our Best Friend. He is showing our church that the Holy Spirit is our comforter, our companion, and someone we can commune with all day long. I know that this is a fact because the Holy Spirit does commune with me. For instance yesterday, I woke up to find Blake already at work. I felt a little sad at first because he hadn't woke me up before he left to tell me Happy Birthday and without a doubt in my heart I know the Holy Spirit spoke to me. He said, "Happy Birthday and I am the first to tell you." I fell back to sleep with a smile on my face. What a gift!! So far Phillip Yancey seems to come across as skeptical about this kind of relationship with God. I believe God is reachable through the Holy Spirit. Jesus walked and talked, and touched people and He was God. Pastor Robert said yesterday that Jesus said sending the Holy Spirit would be better that having him on the earth. Why? Because we can each walk and talk with the Holy Spirit - each of us that has surrendered our life to God can have God with us. But there is the God possibly God the Father(?), that walked past Moses and covered his eyes so that He would not die from looking at Him. I know I am not in a place for that much of God to walk past me, but I want to get closer and I feel strongly that it won't be "with great ease."

Gotta go make dinner so I'll try to post a couple of more quotes tonight.

Book Review

I just finished an updated edited version of the book In His Steps written by Charles Sheldon in 1896. It was about a group of Christians that took a vow that for a year they would ask themselves, "What would Jesus do?" before every decision. After arriving at what they believed Jesus would do in each situation they would respond in that exact way no matter what that would mean to their comfort, reputation, or future success. It was a very thought provoking book to read. I am going to try to give a more in-depth review at a later time mostly for my own benefit. I don't want to forget the questions this book has stirred in my heart. I want to be a seeker this year. I am convinced that God wants to reveal more of himself to me, but He is not going to make it easy for me. And I'm glad. And I hope that I am ready because I am going to start searching for Him and stop living off of my past encounters with Him. The quote from C S Lewis also comes to mind, "God is not safe but He is good." I feel that this part of himself that He wants to show me is not the "Jesus is my best friend" part of Him. It is the part of Him that make us willingly plead with Him like Isaiah, "Take a coal and cleanse my lips." The Holy God that we don't slap on the back but instead fall flat on the floor in something close to terror. I'm not exactly sure how to search, but I know I need to filter some things out of my life and make my mind and heart a better "home" for the Holy Spirit. I need to give Him more time to reveal Himself. I need to check my heart regularly and make sure the Lord continues to see in me a hunger for Him and not fullness from everything else I have filled myself with. My worry is that I won't succeed. I'll find myself next year still in this same place wondering what would happen if I start really searching for more of God. "God, don't let me give up".....dare I pray that?