WHAT?!

The worship tour has been cancelled. Blake will NOT be going away for 17 days.

I will survive!

The Lord has done a work in my heart over the past several days. He and my husband remind me a lot of each other at times. They let me have my little hissy fit, pout a couple of days, and then when I realize that its not doing me any good, they are still there.... waiting for me and not holding it against me.

Part of the worship team at church is going on tour at the end of July for 17 days, and they asked Blake to go with them as their sound guy. Honestly, who can blame them.... he's pretty great to have around... but I was not pleased. I have whined, begged, and gave dissertations that would have won over any jury as to why I do not think he should be away from us for that long. Anyway after a few days of all my talking and trying and pleading, the answer was the same: "I've got to go - its my job." Well, I'm not exactly sure what my final response was something along the lines of "If there is an accident while you're on this trip and you die then I will never speak to you again and for the record I don't want anyone from the tech. or worship department coming to the funeral. (From time to time I have a tendency to be a tad dramatic, although it really never does me any good thanks to having a very laid back man as my husband.) Not too long after this final conversation I thought about my best friend from Junior High and High School who has seen her husband off to special training military schools where he comes back with cracked ribs and broken thumbs, and has sent him away to Iraq where he comes back with emotional wounds only the Lord can heal, and I know in my head that I am being a baby. Because Blake and I started "going together" at 14 and 15 and got married four years later, I never had a time in my life where I had only God. I have never had to depend on him and him alone. I feel like the Lord has began to stir in me almost a feeling of anticipation for Blake's upcoming trip. I will have to depend on the Lord to give me strength in the evenings when I'm used to Blake giving me a hour or two break from the kids. I will have to depend on the Lord to be my comfort when the house creaks and I think I hear things downstairs. I will have to depend on the Lord to hold me in his arms when any other time it would be Blake. I will not just endure those 17 days, I will grow stronger because of them, I will learn to depend more on the Lord and enjoy his companionship.

You see my Mama Bear claws?!

This morning when I picked up Camden from his class at church, he told me with his eyes all watering up that he hadn't gotten his prize. I went back up to the door and told them that he didn't get his prize. They asked him, "Did you say your memory verse?" He shook his head no. They said, "Do you want to come back in and try again?" He nodded his head that he did. He went in and about a minute later came back out with tears running down his cheeks. He told me that he couldn't remember the whole verse so he didn't get a prize. I picked him up and he buried his head in my neck, crying his eyes out. I carried him out to the van, and when we got out there Blake said, "Do you realize you just carried him out the church, up the stairs, and across the parking lot?" (with heels I might add!) At home, there are times he wants me to carry him up the stairs (he's almost six) and I tell him there is no way I can carry you up those stairs. You're too big. But this morning it didn't phase me a bit. I just felt so bad for my baby and so mad at those "mean" women in his class. I do not want to be the mommy who is always complaining about every little thing, but you can be sure I will be calling this week and asking what next week's memory verse will be so that I can practice with him all week. My poor little guy - those mean mean women!!!

I have a big boy

I just registered Camden for soccer in the fall. I know almost every kid is in sports, but this seems like a big deal to me.

My Dad

Today is Father's Day so I wanted to share a special memory I have of my Daddy. When I was in fourth grade, I went through a real emotional time. I think its pretty common for girls that age. I remember being scared and/or upset almost everyday. I remember crying a lot. On one night in particular, I was talking to my mom, in tears of course, about how upset I was. I went into my room still inconsolable and knew that my mom could not take much more of my crying and anxiety, but I could NOT get a hold of myself. My dad came in and got me and took me into the den and rocked me in the rocking chair until I fell asleep. Hours later, I awoke in the middle of the night still in my dad's lap. He was sound asleep. I remember that being a turning point for me. Something about that sacrifice of love he made for me that night, helped me through that stage. I'm sure I still had my moments, but I know I was much better after that night. I know he has made many other sacrifices for me over the years, most of which I have no idea. I am so grateful for him, and know that I am incredibly blessed to have him for my dad.

Every moment is a learning opportunity for us all.

This afternoon I had the TV on and they showed this rock-singer girl - I don't know her name - with pink hair. Hope said, "That's crazy. She has pink hair!" Camden asked, "How did she grow pink hair?" I said, "It didn't grow that way. She colored it." He said, "Looks like we have a cheater." I'm not exactly sure what he meant by that, but I got a good laugh anyway.

Dear God, give me mercy!!!!

Two weeks ago, Camden came down with some flu-like bug. He had fever for five days, was very lethargic and the last three days had this upper nasal congestion thing going on. Then for five days everyone was good and then Hope came down with it. Like Camden, it lasted for five days. The day Hope started feeling better, Blake came down with it and has been sick for five days... By the time Blake got sick I was nurtured out. Bless his heart, he's gotten no sympathy out of me. Also something about taking care of the kids, cooking, cleaning house, running errands, paying bills, ect.... while he lays on the couch can be quite frustrating....sick or not, especially when in the back...or more realistically the front of my mind, I know full well that if I catch this thing.... I will STILL be taking care of the kids, cooking, cleaning house, running errands, paying bills, ect... can't call in sick when you're the mom. So all I can do is pray I don't catch this thing.