a dream

I had a last dream last night that has been heavy on my mind all day. I decided that I should "document" it just because it has effected me so much. You never know.....

I dreamed that I was somewhere and I saw a man - an evil man - who was standing beside a pile of ice. In that pile of ice laid a tiny little girl with no clothes on. She looked right about two years old but she was very skinny. She was blue around the mouth and very near unconscious. I ran over and grabbed her out of the pile of ice and then ran away from the man. I can vividly remember - like it was real - how cold her little body felt. I had to hold tight to her head or it would fall back like a new born baby. I grabbed a blanket and just held her close to me with the blanket around her. After a while she whimpered, "I'm cold." I said to her, "Mommy will make you better." That's all I remember of the dream, but sometime later in the night I had another dream and she was with me in the dream. This time she was dressed warmly and smiling and running a long beside me while I was trying to get to a meeting.

I've just been thinking all day about this little girl...wondering if she is out there somewhere and needs me.


All right - I know this is a melancholy post. I just felt the need to write it down.

conversation from yesterday

Hope - "Mommy, where were you born?"
Me - "Lufkin - where PaPa and Grammy live."
Hope - "Well you don't look like you were born in Lufkin!"
Me - "Where do I look like I was born?"
Hope - "Africa or something"

Thank you, Son.

Camden has a friend over today. I made oven pizzas for lunch. As they sat down to eat, Camden's friend said, "Did you make this from scratch?" "Uhmm, no," I replied. After a bit he said, "One time my mom made a pizza from scratch using soy cheese and fresh tomatoes. It was SOOO good." Then Camden looked up and said, "One time my mom made pizza from scratch too... and I didn't like it."

Anniversary (almost)

In two weeks, Blake and I will have been married for nine years. And I am SO in love with him!! I love how I feel when he walks into our house after work - I can't explain it - like chocolate, sunshine with a cool breeze, and a down comforter all wrapped up in one! I love how I feel when he holds me at night and prays in a barely audible voice until he or I fall asleep. I love that he checks on our kids every night before he comes to bed. I love that he is nothing like me yet we have so much in common. I love that he has this love affair with God that he can't contain. I love that he is the same person at home that he is at church. I love that he is reserved and because of that I know 100 times more about him than anyone on earth. I love that he never gets disappointed in me and hardly ever gets frustrated with me even though he has reason to daily! I love that he gets stressed out so rarely that when he does, it makes me giggle and then he laughs too. I love that he knows how to fix our computer, work our remote controls, and maneuver the antennae just right so that we can pick up two English speaking tv channels. I love that he is fine with the fact that he has to make sure my cell phone is charged or it would be dead all the time. I love that I fit perfect in his arms. I love that he (along with God) has given me the life I dreamed of as a girl.

That's a start, I guess....

On Wednesdays I make the kids clean their rooms because we have high school life group over here on Wednesday night. Camden had been working on his room for over an hour and had come out several times to talk to me about star wars, his knight toys, the story behind his superhero name...you know all that stuff that just CAN'T wait until his room is clean. The fifth time he came out of his room, I let out a big sigh and said, "Camden, you HAVE to get your room clean." He said, "I'm sorry." I said, "No, you're not. Sorry means that you wish you hadn't done it and that you're not planning on doing it again." Without even stopping to think for a second he said, "Well, Mommy, I'm trying to be sorry, ok."

hardy har har

We were in Kohls today and Hope said, "Look at that lady on that picture." We look up to see a huge picture of a lady with the biggest, frizziest hair I've ever seen. Blake says, "Look, Christina, your hair is in-style." Hilarious isn't he? yeah...

Like Mother, Like Daughter....

I hear Camden calling from the back of the house, "Hope, Hope!!, HOOOPPPEEE!!!! " I yell from the kitchen, "Hope! ANSWER YOUR BROTHER!!" To which she yells back, "But I know he wants to talk about Star Wars and I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT!!!!!"